wedding season

So, I've been getting a lot of "wow, you got laid off in the summer, what great timing!" I suppose that's partially true. More free time means more time to sit in the sun, which has given me one of the best tans I've had in years. I figure looking good can only help in interviews, but you probably don't want to make your interviewer jealous of how golden brown you are. But I digress. There is a drawback to not having a job and/or paycheck during these most most sunniest of months: It's Wedding Season, baby!

It can be difficult to maintain a conversation with people you haven't seen in years when your self confidence is in the toilet. I find myself saying, "Oh me? I'm great, but enough about me, what have you been up to?" I really shouldn't feel that bad about myself. My company was forced to go on an indefinite hiatus, it's not like I got fired. I shouldn't feel worthless, per se. But, when the guys you went to college with are comparing their sports cars and asking you what you've been up to, it still stings to say, "I'm unemployed." Explaining that it's not really your fault can often sound like an excuse, and explaining it more than once is damn near impossible for me. I find that this feeling of minor self loathing can lead to constant drinking, which is never a good look in front of the bride's grandparents. Old pals usually don't ask tough, probing questions when you are screaming the lyrics to "You Shook Me All night Long" in their face. That usually just reminds your old pals about the old days in college when none of us had jobs. So, my advice would be to stay on the dance floor and develop a good report with the DJ.

These weddings, however, are an idea that's spreading like wildfire. I'm 27, so I'm right in the sweet spot of the marriage tornado. It's getting to the point where more of my friends are married than single. My girlfriend and I have been together for more than 5 years, so we are constantly harassed about when we'll be tying the knot. Luckily, she's in no rush, and no one expects the unemployed guy to spring for a ring. I have 6 weddings this summer, and none of them are within 500 miles of where I live. Travel, hotel, bachelor party, and gifts all conspire to make me even lighter in the pocket book. I would love to buy all my friends the best wedding present they could imagine, but now they're lucky if I get them anything under the widely accepted 1 year time frame. Most of the stress I feel before these weddings melts away once the festivities are under way. I am usually just glad to be there for one of the most important events of my friends' lives. I find myself surrounded by people who I wish I got to see a lot more frequently, and an army of kind men and women who hand-deliver appetizers to my face. Like I said before, one way to avoid the constant probing questions about your job/financial situation is to avail yourself of the open bar. Because hey, the booze is free. Happy wedding season, it's almost over.

Getting Shredded

When I had that inconvenient time suck called a 'full time job', I could never find the time to go to the gym. Now that I have eliminated that clutter from my life, I really have no excuse not to be doing some sort of physical exercise on a daily basis. I suppose this newfound free time could also be filled with extended gorging sessions, but luckily I've managed to avoid that so far (as I'm on a tight budget and can't afford to buy enough food to gorge myself). Being unemployed, I can't really afford a trainer or gym membership. Luckily, my apartment building has a gym with just enough equipment to keep me satisfied. I wouldn't say that I've reached the status of being completely shredded, but you'll be glad to know I've been making some progress.

Yesterday morning, I had a good hard work out, and I was feeling pretty good about myself. The blood was pumping and I decided that I would take a walk around the block to get a gatorade and cool down. It was a gorgeous day out, and the park next to my apartment was filled with young mothers pushing their toddlers on swings while playing brick breaker on their blackberries. I live right in the center of Hoboken, and I used to work in Manhattan. As I walked across the street towards the park, I was reminded that I definitely live in New Jersey. A white, two-door, tricked out honda civic blew past me bumping some hideous electronic brand of rap. I ventured out into the street, in the center of the cross walk, behind this abortion of a car. I could see from the back that this was no ordinary Honda Civic. The owner of the car, in an effort to show the world that he was in the upper echelon of elite douche bags, decided to place Ferrari stickers all over the back of his Honda.

When I was directly behind the car, this guy decided to throw his high performance (decal'd) vehicle in reverse because he saw a friend of his walking down the street. Why would you look to see if someone was walking behind you before pulling a move like that? You wouldn't. He slammed into my leg, and I pounded on the car for him to watch out. He actually hit me with his car, and when I said, "watch out," he wasn't exactly compelled to apologize. He tried to ignore me at first and continued to greet his hombre. When I told him that he just hit me with his car, he said, "then don't walk in front of my car, a$$hole." His spiky hair and enormous sunglasses must have been pinching his tiny brain, because I didn't walk "in front" of his car. I walked behind it, in the cross walk. Having recently gotten my swell on in the gym, the thought crossed my mind to start some sort of fracas. But this guy looked like he might be packing, and the fact that his friend was there made the thought of getting pounded in front of all the young mothers from my building seem very possible and unappealing.

It all happened so quickly, and I didn't think to get his license plate number until after. So, if anyone sees a young male driving around at high speeds during business hours in a Honda that he thinks might be a Ferrari, punch him in the face for me. This whole experience got me to thinking. Do I really want to be totally shredded? This guy was jacked, and that caused him to be both stupid and feloniously inconsiderate. Being in too good of shape usually just exposes you as someone with horribly misguided priorities and way too much free time. I got my gatorade, continued to walk around the park, and decided that I was going to skip the gym tomorrow. Putting stickers on a Honda is like putting huge muscles on that guy's personality. Under the hood, you're not impressing anyone.

The End of the Beginning

It's Wednesday of the second week of my unemployment, and I think this is the perfect time to start my blog about the experience of being "in between gigs". Starting this blog in the first week would have been premature as New York State classifies that week as my "Unpaid Waiting Period." I hope this blog becomes a forum where I can share how I fill my days while on the hunt. I promise to keep busy, do weird stuff, and I'm sure there are thousands of people out there who can relate to what I'm going through.

I thought some time off might be nice. I'm finding it's not all that I dreamed it might be. In week one, I: cleaned the apartment several times, hung some new posters, sent out a thousand emails to prospective employers, received back less than 5 emails from prospective employers (none of whom are hiring, why would they be?), went to the grocery store 4 times, ate upwards of 17 bowls of cereal, went to the beach Saturday and Sunday, and had a few cocktails Sunday evening which made me glad to not have to wake up for any reason on Monday.

Week two hasn't been one for the record books either. Monday, I actually went into the city to audition for 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire'. As if that isn't pathetic enough, I didn't even pass the written test they give you to qualify for the show. I find this truly humiliating especially given all the useless information I walk around with on a daily basis. It's possible that the test is racially biased. Tuesday, I went to my 90 year-old, almost totally blind grandfather's house in NJ to play golf. Alas, he was afraid it might be too hot for him to get around the golf course, so we got lunch and watched 'Inception'.

'Inception' became a significant event in my life. I had to urinate so badly for the last 97 minutes of the movie, so it really felt like it was about a week long. Also, in order to see the screen, my grandfather and I sat in the 3rd row of an enormous, sparsely populated theater. We got there a little early, so we sat there in the quiet for just long enough before the previews started for my grandfather to regale me (and the rest of the whispering theater) with a story of exactly what his close minded friends think of our current President(N-bomb included). To be fair, he was very disapproving of his friend's viewpoints, but I suspect that the rest of the people in the theater might not have gotten the theme of his story. The movie was awesome (certainly not without its flaws), but it was hard to watch with someone who needed me to explain the special effects.

Who knows what tomorrow might bring. I need to come up with a better way to make the days pass enjoyably. I have been making long to-do lists on a daily basis to keep myself on task. But, I feel like it's cheating to include "eat lunch" on a to-do list. I'm quite sure I wouldn't forget if I didn't write it down. Strange things happen when you have some time on your hands. I'll do my best to report on all of them.